This post was inspired by Hillary Scott's moving video, Thy Will
When it came to the Lyrics "I don't wanna think.. I may never understand.. That my broken heart is a part of your plan" I realized it's not His Plan, it was my choice just as it was His choice to love me in spite of me.
I wonder, if I'd followed Him instead of following my heart's desire, would my life have been more peaceful... more clear. Would I have few regrets, showing and sharing His abundance of humility and kindness. Instead had I grown into false righteousness, over-zealous, pious and judgmental, being content to be taught sparingly by theology, with no "right" encouragement or desire to earnestly study... rightly dividing the Word of God, depending only on the Lord's guidance to see.
Paul learned apart from the Apostle's and the converted for three years, before joining the others, to lead the witness to the Gentile Nations.
My regret... seeing what I saw and knowing what I know, I made excuses, even blamed others for my walk in the world and all that that brought. Wouldn't calling it God's Plan just be an excuse to blame Him instead of being thankful that I am still apart of His eternal plan?
My regret is knowing there are those that are humble, kind and loving, with a Peace and excellence of spirit, that walking down the wrong path will not allow and I was not one of them.
But thanks be to God, who is stronger. May our regrets lead to true repentance, being sorrow and change, and not blame.